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So... how are all y'all doing this year? Anybody got any ideas? Somebody shoot me a text when the revolution starts.






























HOME – PAINTED DOGGIE COMICS
PANEL 1: A car exits the highway into a small town nestled in the mountains.
Foxwolf’s inner monologue: “I don’t want to pay attention to any of this.”
PANEL 2: Inside the car, Foxwolf, Houndmage, and Jerri’s ears can be seen poking above the headrests as they drive past houses dotting the street.
Foxwolf’s inner monologue: “I want to live like an idiot in a commercial who only needs sports betting or something to live the good life.
PANEL 3: Jerri is playing a game in the back seat. A character waits patiently on screen to receive their fate. The options presented on the lower screen include HIT, ROB, GIFT, and RUN.
Foxwolf’s inner monologue: “I would kill to be in the backseat again playing gameboy.”
PANEL 4: The car arrives at a house along the river bank, and Jerri smiles at the selection they’ve made. “BONK!”
Foxwolf’s inner monologue: “Don’t gotta know where we’re going or how we’ll get there.
Just gotta collect 50 wood.”
Panel 5: Foxwolf’s inner monologue: “But I’ve got to drive now and figure it all out.”
Through the rear-view mirror, Foxwolf watches Jerri play in the back seat, unaware yet that they’ve arrived.
PANEL 6: The family walk around the side of the house, with Jerri skipping happily along in front.
Foxwolf’s inner monologue: “I’ve been thinking a lot about how my family got through hard times in their lives. I’m really privileged to have felt safe up to this point. I shouldn’t have expected to live in the end of history.”
PANEL 7: Grandma enters from the next room smiling to greet her visitors. Jerri smiles wide and waves as they enter the house, followed by Foxwolf doing the same, however, with a bit of a pained expression.
Foxwolf’s inner monologue: “Visiting Grandma’s house used to make me so happy.
Now I can only think about today’s fresh new horror. Or work.
Or what a piece of shit I am for not visiting more often. I feel guilty.”
PANEL 8: Foxwolf’s inner monologue: “When I was little, Grandma told me stories about when she lived on the farm. They had a big battery-powered radio for entertainment, and her favorite toy was a real, taxidermy mole handmade by her uncle.”
Grandma as a young girl in a handmade linen dress lays in front of an old farm radio smiling contentedly at the small animal in her hand. The radio plays a crackled piano tune as an advertisement is read:
“Nature is stingy -STINGY- at least when it comes to tooth enamel. So be safe! Choose your dentifrice with care. Switch to Pupsodent, the only toothpaste containing Irium.”
PANEL 9: The advertisement continues, but the child is focused on holding the paws of the little mole, dancing with him to the jaunty tune in the background:
“Yes you can have complete confidence in Pupsodent for it alone is made with this sensational new ingredient that highly polishes teeth safely. Now that every tube of Pupsodent on sale contains Irium, you can buy it with utmost assurance that the days of disappointing dentifrices – (obscured)”
Foxwolf’s inner monologue: “Grandma was there for things I was learning about in school. It amazed me that she lived without plastic or electricity. I was relieved to hear the farm kept them fed through the Great Depression.”
PANEL 10: The sun is beating down over the mountainous horizon and casting a shadow from the farm house onto the rutted land between two dead trees. The little girl stands with a small suitcase looking over the barren stretch of land towards the house. An adult takes her hand to hurry her on her way.
Foxwolf’s inner monologue: “They moved to town after the mine bought the land up around them and turned their farm into a wrinkled wasteland. She was still little then.”
PANEL 11: Foxwolf is passionately making a case to her concerned relatives:
“Mom, I might not even be allowed to have a job. I’m a woman in a “man’s” field. What are we going to do once I’m considered a ‘DEI hire’? What could our future here possibly look like on the current trajectory? I’ll never forgive myself when it’s inevitably too late.”
PANEL 12: “Foxwolf, you’re a good worker. They need you. I don’t think you’re going to lose your job. And your whole family is here. Your support system is here. None of you even know the language!” Her mother responds as she sits next to Grandma around the dining room table. Foxwolf looks past their worried expressions to the photo on the wall.
PANEL 13: It’s a photo of a Grandma and Grandpa as a young newly married couple. The groom appears annoyed, while the bride squints out half a smile.
Foxwolf’s inner monologue: “Grandpa once told me I’d wake up dead if I went to sleep in a room with the chemicals at the steel mill where he worked.”
PANEL 14: Foxwolf’s inner monologue: “I thought that meant he must be strong.”
The young man drips with sweat as he labors in a dark industrial building. A vat of liquid steel glows beyond him while another worker attends to the pouring process.
Foxwolf’s inner monologue: “I wonder if he ever thought about running away.”
PANEL 15: Rows of identical grey factory buildings and smokestacks stretch into the horizon. Along the fenced perimeter, striking steel workers are gathered. Company guards are dispersed throughout the crowd, antagonizing and assaulting random workers. One guard raises his gun and fires at a man with his hands in the air. Two strikers seeing the scene unfold run to the target’s side, as others turn at the sound of the gunshot.
Foxwolf’s inner monologue: “The union stayed and fought. They were good workers.”
PANEL 16: “Besides, what is Jerri going to do? You want to throw them into a foreign country at this age?” Foxwolf’s mom continues to reason. Houndmage, Grandma, and she are seated at the table, and Jerri is sitting on the floor near and end table at the back of the room. Foxwolf is standing behind her chair at the table. Everyone looks worried besides Jerri, who is bored of the adults’ conversation. They are watching something on their tablet through big over-ear headphones.
PANEL 17: Jerri eagerly fishes around in the jar on the end table. Their fingers and lips are covered with a sticky candy coating from the endless supply of m&ms at Grandma’s house.
Foxwolf’s inner monologue: “What is Jerri going to do? Hate me because I took them away from all their friends?”
PANEL 18: Foxwolf’s inner monologue: “Hate me as an adult once they realize there was a time when we could have gotten out? Can we get out? Is this all a delusion anyway?”
Jerri tosses another fistful of candy into their mouth. On their tablet screen, a video titled “NORMAL PEOPLE VS GORDON B. PETERSON” is playing. Foxwolf watches Jerri from across the room with a troubled expression while considering her mother’s words.
PANEL 19: Grandma gives Foxwolf a big hug on her way out the door and sadly says, “Oh, Foxwolf... I don’t want you to move! I’ll never see any of you again!”
PANEL 20: “I don’t want to go, grandma…” Foxwolf imagines looking out over a vast port at steamships floating through the mist on dark waves.
Foxwolf’s inner monologue: “How did my family leave everything they ever knew to get on a ship in the 1800s and move permanently to a place they’d never seen?”
PANEL 21: Foxwolf’s inner monologue: “How bad did it get before they left? Would they think I’m overreacting?”
A family of three huddle in the dark belly of a crowded ship under blankets. The mother shivers and clings tightly to her family while the small boy looks to his father for reassurance that their circumstances are less dire than they appear.
PANEL 22: Foxwolf’s inner monologue: “Did they ever regret it?”
Suitcases and belongings form narrow rows between the tired immigrants crammed below deck. Another young boy further down the line coughs violently, as the first watches anxiously.
Foxwolf’s inner monologue: “Did it work out in the end?”
PANEL 23: Foxwolf drives the family home, looking wide-eyed ahead as she listens to a news broadcast on the car radio:
“Breaking news this evening. The president has mandated an innovative new opportunity for all public school children where they will practice real, on-the-job work skills. – By partnering directly with employers in the meat packing and agricultural sectors, the president hopes to alleviate recent labor shortages, as well as guide today’s youth towards a ‘more traditional American lifestyle’.”
PANEL 24: The sun is setting over the mountains and casting brilliant colors on the billowing clouds floating overhead. The highway stretches out, winding through the lush countryside in front of Foxwolf in the driver’s seat. The radio broadcast continues:
“Parents, if you’re worried that getting your kids to properly de-bone a carcass sounds a bit more difficult than getting them to clean their room, don’t fret. -- Children will be supervised at all times by the current staff of highly leased prisoners.”
PANEL 25: Jerri, Foxwolf, and Houndmage arrive home. Jerri skips up on to the porch, as Houndmage watches them from the back of the line with a look of pride and fatherly love. Foxwolf is lost in thought, unable to appreciate the beautiful scenery of the evening or the happy, healthy child bouncing along right in front of them.
Foxwolf’s inner monologue: “It’s not fucking fair. I want to live here in the mountains. I want to swim off grandma’s dock in the summer. I want to take care of my mom when she’s old.”
PANEL 26: As the family enters the house, their two dogs, Chief and Nelson, go wild with excitement. Jerri runs off to get ready for bed as Houndmage and Foxwolf stop to humor the dogs at the entrance.
Foxwolf’s inner monologue: “I like my little house and my little garden and the little life I’m so lucky to have. Do I know anything at all about the future?”
PANEL 27: Foxwolf kisses Jerri goodnight and tucks them in with their favorite stuffed cat.
Foxwolf’s inner monologue: “Can I keep Jerri safe? Will they have a good life?”
PANEL 28: Foxwolf sits in dim lamplight on the couch looking at her phone. “Abelha”, “bee”, DA-DING! – the phone buzzes in her hand as she selects the correct answer.
Foxwolf’s inner monologue: “Is there any chance in hell I could move half way across the world without having a mental breakdown?”
PANEL 29: Foxwolf’s inner monologue: “I couldn’t even handle Florida.”
Foxwolf’s looking at a full page ad for “Odu AI Chat 2.0” on the phone screen promising to “BOOST YOUR LANGUAGE LEARNING” and that it’s “NOW 25% LESS SYNCOPHANTIC!” The owl mascot of the language learning app is laying in an inviting position below a french conversation. The AI bot has messaged the user, “Voulez-vous coucher avec moi?” to which the user has responded, “Ce soir?”
*Sigh* Foxwolf clicks the small, grey “LIVE YOUR SAD LIFE” button below the large, flashing “UPGRADE NOW” button presented on the screen.
PANEL 30: Foxwolf looks at her phone in annoyance and yells, “Is this fucking owl actually teaching me anything?”